About Me

My photo
Los Angeles, CA, United States


Thursday, August 18, 2011

Age and Attitude....back on the soapbox again.

Personally, I don't feel like I'm 47 years old most of the time whatever a 47 yr old is supposed to feel like.   I'm on the downhill slide toward the big 5-0 but about 90% of the time, I don't feel like I'm in my 40's except when 1) I go out to a bar; 2) go to the mall shopping and 3) when some 20-something calls me "sir".

Lets talk about going out.  Once in a big while, the "boys" will go out for a dinner and drinks.  Usually, it's a highly reviewed restaurant then off to a bar to finish up our conversation.  On some nights, someone suggests going to a trendy place to drink so the other night, we end up at the W hotel at their outdoor bar in Hollywood.  The area is super cool with open fire pits and couches surrounding the cozy fires.  Kind of reminds me of the Inn at Spanish Bay except that instead of middle aged golfers lounging around, it's all these hotties in their nightclub uniform.  You know the ones-tight fitting butt-hugging black dress that barely cover their hips and with a swooping neckline that just screams "check these babies out." Also added to the decor are the ladies that go clubbing at Drais.  I thought I was in a Robert Palmer video..see link  http://youtu.be/d51FaknDwzA   It was surreal. 

For some reason, going to a place where there are a bunch of single people makes me feel uncomfortable.  Why? Maybe it's the fact that I have about a 10% chance of having anything in common if I were to venture to have a conversation with any of them.  I get the same feeling at some Yelp Elite events where everyone has their head on a swivel scoping out their targets.  Maybe it's that I've come to the realization that I have no game.  I don't want to believe that but when it comes to youngsters, it's probably true.  And frankly, it's all good.

At the malls, it's no longer hanging out and shopping.  It's about going there with a purpose and getting the hell out.  Why? For me it used to be a place to scope out the ladies.  My buddy and I used to love the holidays just because sales clerks were so cheerful and it was a good place to meet others.  Now, it's get what you need and leave.  I don't need someone to say, thank you Mr. Huang for shopping here.  Just bag it and let's go.  Oh and the sir thing, that's a tough one because you got to admire a youngster paying respect but boy ol' boy, it makes me feel old.
Despite the fact that on occasion we're reminded of our age,  it's actually good to feel young even if our bodies or doctors don't necessarily agree.  I think I've mentioned before that attitude is everything.  It controls our approach to any situation. Attitude can make a bad situation worse or better.  And attitudes can change at the drop of a hat with just a decision to make the best out of a situation. It's the decision to let go of the different stresses and be in the moment.  Being pensive and worrying about stuff I can't control or as I often tell my friends, crucifying myself between the sins of the past and the fear of the future.  I'm not advocating being selfish nor shirking responsibility but rather, enjoy the times that are meant to be fun.  Be here now.

Oh it's so easy to say but hard to practice.  Be in the moment..pfttt...you try that being a parent, a coach, a husband or wife, a cook, a housekeeper and working 60 hours a week.  Yeah, we all got our stimuli, diversions, and excuses not to enjoy the now.  It's life.  And that's why it's so important to realize it is LIFE.  Life is about living and not living to work but working to live.  I don't think our Creator put us on this earth to be miserable and worry about the minutia.  I believe we all have our crosses to bear and our challenges throughout our lifetime and that's what makes living so beautiful.  It's the realization that no matter how dark things are or were, we made it through and are better for it.  Look back on all your trials and tribulations-the pains of illness, the financial struggles, the suffering and death of loved ones-and realize that hey, made it through.  Realize by being here and now all the good things you have in life.  Those that love you and you love and realize it really is all good.  What's Kanye say, what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.  http://youtu.be/PsO6ZnUZI0g

I know I sound like a preacher and trust me, I'm far from it (right, T-man).  But having gone through my own struggles and observing others as well, I can honestly say that I've never felt more liberated than I do now.  Because it's realizing life is about being here and now.  When you're feeling pissed, lonely, frustrated, lost, and ready to scream, go ahead and let it out.  Then close your eyes, take a deep breath, flip the attitude, and enjoy the rest of the day.

Ray LaMontagne-Be here Now


  1. Amen to that! How'd you get to be so wise...guy??

  2. Dear PC, wiseguy maybe but wise..no way.